Ding Dong The Witch Is Gone
by Xfairy
Summary: 1692: 21-year-old Mulder marries 18-year-old Scully, Diana starts causing trouble on the wedding..


** Title: Ding Dong The Witch Is Gone  
Author: X_fairy (x_fairy@gmx.net)  
Disclaimer: The X-files belong to CC and Mulder and Scully belong to each other, not to me! No infringement intended!  
Rating: PG-13  
Category: Alternate reality, as much as I hate that term, Fowl-fic, MSR  
Spoilers: none - well, except TFO  
Archive: Anywhere, with my name and addy, but please let me know!  
Feedback: Please! I LOVE e-mail!  
Summary: Takes place in 1692, a 21-year-old Mulder is being married to a 18-year-old Scully, arranged by their fathers, who are rich businessmen, and on the wedding, Diana turns up and causes trouble... Mulder POV  
Author's notes: I had a strange dream tonight I'd forgotten the moment I opened my eyes, but the first thing I thought was, Ding dong the bitch is gone - and for the first time realized the similarity of the words 'bitch' and 'witch'...  
  
************************************  
Ding Dong The Witch Is Gone  
by X_fairy   
************************************  
  
Salem  
October 13th 1692  
  
It was my damn twenty-first birthday. I was being married on my damn twenty-first birthday! Oh, of course I could blame it on my sister, but it's not *really* her fault. If she hadn't been kidnapped nine years ago it would be her who was getting married today, or maybe not even today, but only next year... But now that she was gone, I had to stand in for my father's business plans. That was the disadvantage of being a rich man's son, you were never sure he might not use you for economical purposes one day. I briefly wondered how that poor little girl who was gonna be my bride would feel right now. Poor kid, she was her father's only daughter and had probably never had any other chance than being married to his advantage, and that advantage was my father's enterprise.   
I wondered what she'd be like - I had never met her before, I sure hoped she wasn't as fat and ugly as her father, but it was healthier not to build up illusions, they'd only be destroyed.  
At that very moment, I heard a knock on the door. It was my mother, who looked into the room a second later, "Fox, honey, are you ready? Do you need any help?"  
I shook my head, "No, but thanks anyway, mom. Has she arrived? Can I see her?"   
"You know what they say, honey, it won't do any good for the marriage if the groom and bride see each other beforehand..."   
Not that one again... "Mom, you've been saying that for the last four months! I think you got something wrong there - I happen to know of quite a few marriages that were very happy also they knew each other before! Think of my friend Jason..."  
"But his marriage was one out of love, not because of his father's greed..." She came in and briefly hugged me, what seemed a bit strange, as she was more than a foot smaller than me. "I know you don't want to marry, honey, but I can't do anything..."  
I knew she had tried her very best, but now it was too late in any case, and I wouldn't embarrass the poor girl who was to be my wife even more by blowing of the wedding at the last minute.  
A second knock on the half open door, this time if was my butler - and friend - Melvin. I grinned inwardly. Melvin looked *very* strange in a tuxedo with his thin hair and the large monocle he had to wear to be able to see anything at all. Melvin had proved very useful when I wanted to get out at night without my parents needing to know. He could pick any look and get through any door without any visible evidence left.   
"They're all waiting for you, junior." He always called me junior. I hated my First name, Fox, Mr. Mulder usually referred to my father, and although I had tried to convince him to just call me Mulder, he insisted that it seemed too disrespectful, what junior did not, as I was indeed at least fifteen years his junior.  
I nodded, "I'll be downstairs in a minute." I could at least secure this last bit of independence I wanted to convince myself I had, and let them wait a bit. But my mother instantly knew what I was up to and intercepted, "Don't, Fox, all you'll achieve with this is to make your father mad." She smiled sympathetically, "I know what you're going through..." and with these words, she left me to myself again, probably my last bit of time truly alone in my life... And indeed alone I felt, as I didn't think anyone could really know what I was feeling. I didn't have a lot of experience with girls, actually I had absolutely none - my only girlfriend had been a little red-haired girl I had known as a child - oh, well, girlfriend... I had been ten and she seven. I guess I was still grieving for this romantic childhood dream.  
At last I went downstairs, no need for my father to get mad enough to come get me, that would be too embarrassing. My mother was waiting at the foot of the stairs and hurried me in. I silently groaned when I stepped through the large double doors. Why not use a church in the first place, when they had now arranged the ballroom - yes, ballroom, we were *that* rich - to look like one. I felt very uncomfortable walking down the aisle alone under the eyes of hundreds of guests. My mother stayed at the entrance, probably to wait for the bride, and when I had reached the front, I turned and nodded to her. My last thought made me realize that I was still thinking of that poor girl as 'the bride', I didn't even know her name! But now was definitely not the right time to change that, and I'd know in a few minutes anyway.  
I looked down the aisle, tensely trying to repress the urge to tap my foot in impatience. And then they were on their way - at first I only saw her father, who looked three times my weight, and then - disappointment, as she was hidden under layers and layers of veils. Well, at least she had red hair. I stood and waited till they had reached me, absolutely forgetting that it had been me who had delayed everything in the first place. Finally the ceremony could begin, and I waited to finally hear her name....  
"Do you, Fox William Mulder, take Dana Katherine Scully to be your lawfully wed wife, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"   
I inwardly rolled my eyes, I really didn't like the church and their servants, but said, "I do," like a good little boy - ugghh!   
Now it was her time, "Do you, Dana Katherine Scully, take Fox William Mulder to be your lawfully wed husband, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"   
Dana... that sounded somehow familiar... She also said, "I do," and I nearly fell over backwards with shock as I realized that I was now married. I blinked and stared at the crowd of guests until I realized that they were probably waiting for me to kiss her - at least that way I'd get to see her face. I hopefully lifted the veils and had to hold back a sigh of relief - she looked like an angel, in spite of her red hair and her freckles.  
I leaned down and kissed her softly, the crowd cheered - and now out of here!   
We were escorted out into the entrance hall by our parents, while we were out there the ballroom would be redecorated by about a thousand servants, and in an hour it would be ready for the banquet.  
Dana went with her mother to free herself of the enormous wedding dress and was back fifteen minutes later in a green silk dress that looked just as gorgeous on her. I went over and tried to get through to her, but she was surrounded by about a hundred congratulating guests. As they'd already had me the time she'd been gone, I finally managed to grab her and whispered, "Let's go out in the park for a moment." At least I wanted a minute to talk to my... wife... I yet had to get used to this word... and find out something about her, not about her father's business. Fortunately, it was already past dusk and quite dark outside, so we weren't seen by everyone. When we stood under a huge tree out in the park where we couldn't be seen from the house, she looked up at me, "What do you want?"  
Her negative tone of voice completely caught me by surprise. But I had to admit that it was probably even harder for her than it was for me, I hardly had anything to fear, but she would have been as good as dead had she gotten someone like, maybe, my cousin Fred, who kept beating up his wife at least once a week.  
I smiled apologetically. "I only want to talk to you. You know, my parents told me absolutely nothing, and... and..." I didn't know what to say anymore. This eighteen-year-old girl had reduced me to a stuttering little something in a matter of minutes. At that moment, I first started to feel something like respect for her.  
She smiled. "Sorry, I know it's not your fault... Of course you're right, I don't know anything about you either."   
"I'm a girl-murdering psychopath hiding behind the facade of a nice young businessman," I said with an expression as serious as I could possibly manage.   
She giggled and hugged me impulsively, "At least you're making me laugh, that's a good start!"  
I hugged her back and stayed like that for a moment, my face buried in her hair, "You know, Dana, I might get used to this..."   
Until the banquet that evening, we were quite comfortable with each other. We sat at the head of the table, with her father's brother next to her and my mother's brother's wife's aunt, whom I had never met before, next to me. She was called Diana, as she immediately told me, and I wasn't able to get her off of calling me Fox. Dana had agreed to avoid my name wherever possible, and had decided to call me honey, like my mother mostly did. My father called me junior, like Melvin and most of my relatives, and Dana's relatives said, Mr. Mulder, what was a bit annoying, but agreeable considering the alternative.  
But this Diana, who wasn't even really related to me, wouldn't stop torturing me with my given name... I began to hate her when I asked her for the fifth time to please call me junior, and she cheerfully replied, "Oh, but why, Fox is such a nice name!"  
Well, maybe junior would have been a bit inappropriate, as she was hardly older than me, my mother's brother was ten years younger than her forty-two years, his wife was another five years younger, and Diana was the youngest of five sisters. But despite her age, she looked... wrinkled, for lack of a better word, and somehow mean or nasty, in some small, hardly describable way - and then it occurred to me, she looked just the way I'd have imagined a witch. I quickly decided to keep that thought to myself, still vividly remembering this summer's ghastly witch trials which had cost many innocent people their lives.  
I shook my head and quickly downed my glass of wine to distract my mind. Suddenly I couldn't help but feeling a bit light-headed, as if it had been intoxicated. I whispered to my wife, "Dana, honey, I'll be outside for a minute," quickly kissed her and just saw Diana's disgusted but triumphant face out of the corner of my eye. Triumphant? Why the hell triumphant? Had my wine indeed been intoxicated - by her? I remembered my earlier thought about her looking like a witch, but dismissed it just as quickly. I was probably seeing ghosts, and only because I didn't like her that didn't mean she was a witch. I deftly shook my head and cooled my face with water from a fountain, then went back in.  
Dana was engaged in an animated conversation with Diana and didn't seem to feel the same immediate dislike. When I sat down she cheerfully told me that Diana had volunteered to move in with us to help her with the household.   
I shook my head, "But that's really not necessary, Diana, we do have enough domestic servants."  
Dana sulked that I was criticizing her first decision as leader of the household, "But honey, won't it be much nicer to have some relatives around?"   
So Diana was my relative now? Since when? But I couldn't resist that expression on Dana's face. "If you want it so badly, of course she can, Dana, honey."   
Dana broke into a wide smile and kissed me thankfully, and that was worth any trouble I might have with Diana. At that moment I realized I was falling in love with my new wife.  
Unfortunately, I badly underestimated Diana's talents of causing trouble, and after two weeks, I was ready to strangle her, had Dana not kept me from doing it. She stalked around everywhere in the house, listened on the doors, and once I even walked in on her sifting through papers on my desk. She brought up a story of having been looking for a watch, what didn't seem very plausible, as we had a large grandfather clock standing down in the hall, but Dana once again persuaded me to let her stay, as she was such a great help in the kitchen.  
That was another thing - the kitchen. Dana was a wonderful cook, as I had been able to find out the very few times Diana didn't disturb her, but Diana managed to make even the best things taste a bit strange.   
And then Dana fell ill, and I depended on Diana to cook for me. One evening my meal tasted particularly unfriendly, but nothing about Diana's cooking could surprise me anymore, and I didn't really care about it, as Dana had felt especially bad today, and I was worried that she would become seriously ill. After dinner, I went to our bedroom to look after her, fortunately she was better, but I felt a bit fuzzy myself. She saw it immediately and smiled, "You're working too much, honey, and worrying too much. Go get some sleep, it'll do you good."  
"You should be a doctor, Dana, not a housewife..." She laughed at that, I softly kissed her goodnight and went to the spare bedroom I used for the time being so she would get the rest she needed. I tried to do some work I hadn't finished that afternoon, but my thoughts seemed to dissolve into fuzziness, and pictures of Diana floated through my mind, while those of Dana disappeared in the dark. I tried to focus on my papers, and suddenly Diana was standing in the doorway, dressed only in a flittery nightgown. She was the only thing I could clearly see anymore, and I stared while she slowly walked in and sat on the edge of my desk.  
"You feeling alone, Fox, honey?"   
She leaned down to kiss me, and my brain was too fuzzy to be able to keep her off. My eyes drifted shut, and when I opened them again we were on the bed, also I had no idea how we got there, and she was starting to undress me.  
I tried to grab her wrists to stop her, and in the process banged my head against the bed pole. The pain brought my consciousness back, I got a hold of her and shouted, "Stop it!"   
Apparently, that woke up Dana, as she appeared in the doorway a moment later with half closed eyes, asking sleepily, "Are you okay, honey?"  
Somewhere during her sleepy blinking she had gotten a clear view of what was going on, as her eyes flew open. "Honey?!"  
I stood up, still keeping Diana's wrists in a steadfast hold. "She put something in the food, I guess, or in the wine... I don't know, and I don't want to know. But this was one time too many."   
But Dana didn't believe me, maybe the damn witch had intoxicated her meal too. "And I'm supposed to buy this? And why then did she do it especially when I'm ill? Can't sleep alone anymore, can you? And then put the blame on her - I wouldn't have thought you so... so..." she was out of words. "Let her go, don't you see you're hurting her?"  
I let go of Diana's wrists, and Dana hugged her.  
I was getting angry too, "Oh, sure, and that's why I tried to get her out of the house all the time? It was you who wanted her to stay! And why on earth are you putting all the blame on me - if it was true, she'd be to blame as well, or am I mistaken?" My voice would have cut through steel.  
"You really think she'd have had a chance? She depends on you, her whole living! If she'd refuse anything, you could throw her out and she'd be ruined!"  
Diana stayed silent the whole time, pressing out a few fake tears. I'd bet that had been exactly her purpose - to make Dana and me argue.  
"If she has to go, I'm going with her!" This was Dana's most powerful argument, as she knew I could never let her go. I sighed resignedly and nodded. "So be it. And now please go back to bed, I don't want you to catch another cold!" It would be a really hard piece of work to convince Dana that tonight's incident was not my fault.  
From now on, Diana slept in my half of our double bed, so Dana could keep an eye on her, and I was banned to the spare room. If she had known what a favor she did me with this! That way I needed fear any more nightly attacks. And I realized I quickly started to feel better, now that it was no use anymore for Diana to drug me. But soon I felt I missed my wife. Dana hardly talked to me whenever it was avoidable, and I surely missed sleeping in her arms.  
Several weeks later I still hadn't figured out a way to prove Diana's evilness, and slowly but surely I was getting withdrawal symptoms of family life. But that night, Diana made a huge mistake that revealed what she was in all its ugliness. In the night of St. Nicholas' Day, I was awoken by someone shaking me violently. When my eyes had adjusted to the light of the lantern she was holding, I recognized Dana.   
"Dana, honey, what's wrong?" It had been a long time since I'd seen her on my bedside.  
"Diana's gone! What did you do to her?"  
"I didn't do anything, but I'll help you look for her anyway."  
And that was how we found out about her second life as the devil's incarnation. I had always tried to convince myself that she was no witch, but apparently I had been wrong. What we saw in that cellar room that night was mortifying, to say the least. Dana couldn't stop crossing herself and whispering Ave Maria's, and also I was no friend of the church, I could surely understand her need to protect herself from what we had seen.  
We sent Melvin to get the priest, and at dawn that morning, Diana was already imprisoned. I took Dana, who was ill once again, back to bed, and for the first time in more than a month she allowed me to stay, even more so, she clung to me as if her life depended on it. I held her tight and whispered into her hair, "You're okay, honey, she can't hurt you anymore, you're safe..."   
The hard part was not yet through for us, as we had to testify at the trial. After that summer's events, I had been relieved that a real trial was now necessary to convict a witch, but now I only wished to be able to spare Dana her testimony. But at last it was over, Diana was convicted, and when we stood at the gallows on Christmas morning and watched her corpse dangling in the air, my wife could finally breathe free again. She hugged me with a relieved sigh, and I felt freed of a longtime weight to. And when Melvin's little son came running along, banging on what looked like one of our best pots, and screaming, "Ding Dong, the witch is gone," we couldn't help laughing.  
  
The End!!  
  
Feedback eaten alive at x_fairy@gmx.net   
  
**


End file.
